whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
