i just identified you from a description of your pipe
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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