sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
