I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize