bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
