did you get engaged???
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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