I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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