Pants 0. Shit 1.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
