you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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