she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
