i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
