Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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