Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
