I have demons in me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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