but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
