So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I deserve this hangover.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
