I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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