no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
