i just had sex bonerless
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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