Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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