sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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