4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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