yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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