I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
