Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
