can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
is wine microwaveable?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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