Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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