Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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