I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
