I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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