We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
