don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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