hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
