I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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