I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
