yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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