Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
