You can't motorboat a personality
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How does it feel to date your dad?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
