so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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