She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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