you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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