I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
