can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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