plz talk dirty to me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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