worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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