Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
