We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
