so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
