uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
