i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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