i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize
