the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We're too hungover to prance.
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