we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
