Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
