Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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