Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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