Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
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