what day is it and did you see me today?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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