God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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