i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
