"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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