I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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