Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
