giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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