He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
