i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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