Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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