Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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